I'm a 33 degree Freemason, and I want to get set free! But the hold is too strong. I can't break away!?

I've devoted my life to the Brotherhood. My only goal--my only ambition was establishing the New World Order. I worked hard, and soon gained much power and influence in my circles. But recently, I've had a change of heart. I went to a church and heard the message of the gospel. Jesus spoke to me! After the service, I rushed home, tore down the pentagrams off my wall, the compasses, and other symbols, and threw them all away. However, even now, I feel the urge to return to my old ways. I don't know what I'll do if the men of my order discover that I have renounced the old ways. They already suspect, as I haven't been to one of their meetings in the past few days, and I am so scared of what they will do to me if they find me. I just need prayer, desperately.